Showing posts with label shite politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shite politics. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Top 15 quotes of Ayman Odeh, the quintessential Israeli Arab

Defenders of Zion/ Photo Credit Rami Shlush, Haaretz

Last year I was invited to give a talk at Leeds University on Israeli apartheid and colonialism. In the subsequent Q & A session, one student asked me my opinion on Palestinian citizens of Israel voting in Israel elections.

I folded my hands, fixed a neutral smile on my face, tilted my head somewhat apologetically and answered, “I can’t answer the question because I am not a Palestinian living in Israel, so I can’t impose my views when I don’t face the struggle that they do in their daily lives.”

What a crock of bullshit. Afterwards, I told the same student my real opinion and garbled something about normalization, accepting the colonial master’s tool, and turning the whole cause into a matter of equal civil rights as opposed to an anti-colonial struggle for liberation, justice and self-determination.

The past two weeks I have inundated myself with dozens of articles in English and Arabic on the messiah-like role of the Joint List, why more Palestinians in Israel are voting this time, how boycott was the moral thing to do, how boycott is the outdated counterproductive thing to do, how the three Arab parties have skillfully rallied under one banner, how the three Arab parties are destined to break up once they secure their seats in the Israeli parliament, or Knesset because they loath each other, and so on. Communists hate the nationalists, nationalists and communists hate the Islamists, Islamists hate the communists, etc. How is Aida Touma, a communist member of Hadash and self-professed feminists, in a coalition with Talib Abu Arar, a member of the Islamists who is married to two wives?

It’s all a masquerading stupor, waving the flag of fake unity to get into the Knesset where no Palestinian Arab leader or party has ever made a positive difference to the lives of Palestinians in Israel. Haneen Zoabi serves as a reminder of how racist the Knesset is, with her perfect Hebrew “defending terrorists” and calling out her fellow MKs as fascists, but how is that an achievement? Ahmad Tibi the clown uses the podium to recite funny little poems in better Hebrew than his Israeli counterparts, but how does that alleviate the poverty that half of Israel’s Palestinian citizens live in?

Every Palestinian voting in the Israeli elections, not to be all melodramatic and sensationalist, has forgotten the roots of t
I won’t go into why I don’t support Palestinian participation in Israeli elections, “for the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house” as Audre Lorde said. The point is that, even though the term “Arab Israelis” is an abhorrent one, unfortunately, it exists. It resoundingly exists. Those who see their life’s journey as one fighting for an equal Israeli state for all of its citizens, who speak like true Israeli leftists- those are not the Jewish Israelis, no. The Israeli left is the Arab Israeli, the one who calls for an end to the occupation of the 1967 borders, the one who opposes the construction of settlements in order to divert that money to improve the socioeconomic conditions of Israelis, the one who believes in the establishment of a Palestinian state alongside an Israeli one, the one who’s ego in so inflated he compares himself time and time again to Martin Luther King and the struggle for civil rights.

Israel has succeeded. Israel has divided and conquered us with such aplomb, such ingenuity, such simplicity. There is no one united Palestinian people. We are separate entities, in non-contiguous geographical spaces, with a different set of laws that govern our reality. Gaza, West Bank, Jerusalem 1948 territories, refugee camps, diaspora. The best hope we have is to for each of the Palestinians in their separate areas, those who still care about romantic conceptions of liberation and justice and an end to colonization, fight until they secure those goals, and then we can form a confederate of Palestine. COP. A confederate of the republic of Palestine. CORP. Hamas will liberate Gaza, the poor sods in ’48 will get rid of house Palestinians and Zionists, a natural disaster will wipe out the West Bank for good, a Kurdish fighter will lead an army to liberate Jerusalem, an army of children will announce autonomy for the refugee camps in neighboring countries, and so on.

Anyway, this was all a rambling prelude to the top 15 quotes of the model Israeli Arab, Ayman Odeh-the head of the Joint List, a member of Hadash, a lawyer, and if he were younger, he’d be a Haifster. As it is, he’s a 40 year old father of three who “has a dream.” Sit back and enjoy these gems.

1)   My ideological transformation was part of my political maturation, choosing to become part of the greater whole.

You assimilated to Zionism, a racist supremacist ideology premised on the massacres and ethnic cleansing of an indigenous population.

2)   I tell you, I want two nations here by choice. I want two cultures here. It adds something important for me. We are all richer because there are two nations and two cultures here. Let’s focus on the positive things that unite us and not what separates us.

Positive things: we both enjoy drinking Tubi. Negative things: um..Zionism

3)   Instead of wasting money in the occupied territories, money should be spent here in Israel for the good of all of us- for education, for health and for social programs.

Bravo! The model Israeli lefty has struck again!

4)   Abu Mazen is a pragmatic person, a peace loving person, in everyone’s opinion-other than the opinion of the Israeli government.

Seriously beginning to question if Odeh is a closeted drug addict. Hallucinogen pills anyone?

5)   We need to extend bridges to the Jewish community. Martin Luther King fought for blacks, and democratic whites where with him.

Except, in a twisted diseased society like Israel’s, where racism is institutionalized and drilled into their children, there are no democratic Israelis. They’re raving mad Ayman! On second thought, your idea of democracy is shit so maybe you do make sense here.

6)   We will be an alternative camp, the democratic camp-where Arabs and Jews are equal partners, not enemies.

Can we equate all Jews with the ones in Israel? Is it so hard for Odeh to say “where Arabs and Zionists are equal partners, not enemies”? He won’t even notice it’s a conundrum!

7)   It would be correct to say that the Arab citizens of Israel are among the pioneers of civil resistance in the world.

Cough, splutter, snicker. Pray, do tell us more about the amazing civil resistance Arab Israelis engaged in- I must have been living under a rock all these years!

8)   We intend to march on Jerusalem, echoing the civil rights march in Washington led by Martin Luther King more than 50 years ago to demand justice and democracy.

Here it is folks, he’s dropped the big bombshell.

9)   From Nazareth to Jerusalem, like Martin Luther King on 28 August 1963, I have a dream. We want the participation of tens of thousands of Arabs and Jews, because they’re clever.

Not sure I understand the “clever” part, but at this point I can no longer bring myself to care.


10)    We recall that to this day, any Israeli withdrawal from an inch of Palestinian land has occurred through the political weight of the Arabs in Israel.

More hallucinatory talk. The last time Israel withdrawed from Palestinian land was Israel, which it then promptly blockaded for good two years later. And before that, more Jewish settlers colonized more Palestinian land in the West Bank. Great story.


11)    An Arab who works and pays taxes is good for everyone.


Jeez, so much for the pioneering civil resistance part.

12)    Just as Jews in the US joined Martin Luther King, I’m sure hundreds of thousands of Jews will join the struggle for civil equality in Israel.

Gotta love his conviction, bless his soul. Remember when hundreds of thousands of Jews (Jews again, not Zionists according to this fella) marched in protest of the high prices of cottage cheese? And when an Israeli Arab tent was set up, it got attacked with bags of feces? Good times!

13)    I want Jews in the national symbols, but want to see my face there as well.

My ego brings all the boys to the yard, damn right it’s better than yaaars

14)   We want to create a Palestinian state on the 1967 borders alongside the state of Israel.

Huzzah! The two state solution lives on in the delusional minds of shit-talking politicians!

15)   I believe that the Jewish people have a right to self-determination, which the state of Israel has fulfilled.

And that, dear every Palestinian refugee, that was the sound of a huge phlegm-heavy spit landing right at the centre of your faces. Kkkkkhhh-tfoooo!


Oh ye droves of Arabs, descend upon the polling stations like model citizens, thinking that this is your way to stick two fingers up at the Israeli right-wing. I mean, Herzog promised to invite you all to his house and treat you like his equal, no? Oh wait, he’s also a right-winger dressed in the Israeli costume of a leftist politician.

Those Israeli Arabs are not my people, they do not represent an iota of what I stand for nor do I belong to them. If anyone asks, I’ll be watching the Nahal Oz video on repeat for the rest of the day.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

PART ONE: Exposing the Israeli left: The “cottage-cheese warriors"

From the Shit Liberal Zionists Say Tumblr


Written by Linah Alsaafin and Budour Hassan

When Israel launched its most recent aggression on the Gaza Strip, dubbed Operation Protective Edge, the overwhelming majority of the Israeli public supported the aggression. Support for the massacre was by no means limited to right-wingers and blatant fascists; the cheerleaders also included Israeli Labor party (the largest "opposition” party in the Knesset), liberal minister of Justice Tzipi Livni, and Meretz, the self-proclaimed social democrats and "only Zionist leftist party". The latter would eventually backtrack just like they did in the 2008- 2009 massacre, even claiming that they never actually supported the war from the get-go.

"Peace Rally"

On 16 August, Meretz, along with Hadash, Peace Now and other "peace-loving" movements, organized a "peace rally" in Rabin Square in Tel Aviv, attended by thousands of Israelis. Organizers of the rally described the turnout as a victory for the peaceful solution. Some went as far as to declare that the rally is a testament to the strength of the left and working-class in Israel.

Israeli Jahan M. gushed about the protest on his Facebook by writing: "Probably the largest Gaza anti-war protest in the world happening inside Israel itself, signs of the potential of workers and left activists in Israel, yet so much of the left across the world still doesn't see this. Israel, like every other country in the world has a working class and like other workers and oppressed it is their fundamental interest to overthrow the rich who exploit their labour."

Jahan M. effectively normalized Israel's illegitimate existence; ignored the colonialist nature of Israel, and decontextualized working class solidarity from the inherent racist and Jewish supremacist ideology perpetuated by the Israeli labour union ever since its inception. Never mind that the rally was by no stretch of the imagination the largest anti-war rally in the world. Not even close! Never mind that the bulk of the organizers and participants represent the white bourgeoisie in Israel. Never mind that for most of those privileged cottage-cheese warriors, class struggle is nothing but a slogan they raise when they are bored or drunk. And never mind that despite the lamentation and crocodile tears, this rally received far more praise that it warrants.

Let's put all of that aside for a moment. The rally wasn't even about peace in the first place.

In this glorious peace rally, a song was dedicated to the Israeli soldiers who bombed the hell out of the besieged Gaza Strip, murdering over 2000 Palestinian men, women and children. One antiwar protester opposed war so staunchly that he wore-a Meretz t-Shirt while carrying an M-16 rifle. It was more of a show of patriotism, a platform to equate the suffering of Palestinians in Gaza with the "suffering" Israelis, and a desperate attempt to offer a different image of Israel.

Cosmetic presence

To complete the show it was necessary to present Palestinian voices on stage, inviting Mohammad Barakeh, Hadash chairman, and another Palestinian activist from the Zionist group "Combatants for Peace" to join in the chorus of peace and love. Yet again, the Zionist left benefits from the collaboration of “house Palestinians” in order to reinforce the myth of joint struggle. The cosmetic Palestinian presence apart, the one protester who carried an assault rifle and wore a Meretz t-shirt epitomized all that the Zionist "left" stands for: the marriage between militarism, nationalism, and sham peace.

Twisting words

There is something peculiar, if not downright absurd about how Zionists twist words and their meanings to always cement their position on that righteous pedestal made out of salt. It is, after all, the natural inclination that the oppressor’s mentality automatically takes on. If belligerence doesn’t work, then a decontextualized uppity moral standing seems more persuasive: "Dear world, we want peace, but for all the wrong reasons."

We want the army to stop bombing Gaza and to stop killing the Palestinians there because the images of dead babies kept in ice cream freezers due to a lack of space in the morgues make us slightly uncomfortable. (But don't you dare talk about accountability.)

We want the army (which is very ethical but occasionally makes mistakes like just another army in the world) to take more precaution and to know better than to strike boys playing on the beach in the presence of the foreign press.

We want the army to act in accordance with the principle of proportionality, because you know, Israel never targets civilians and if it does, let's just blame it on disproportionality and Khhhamas human shields, because heaven forbid we use the term genocide!

We want a return to the status quo and futile negotiations where Gaza will remain under siege for another lifetime; where the West Bank will revert to the Palestinian Authority-dictated open arms policy of normalization and sweet occupation; and where the pestering Palestinian youth in the 48 occupied territories preoccupy themselves with superficial things other than accumulating the kind of consciousness that rejects the very existence of Israel and breaks up once and for all with the citizenship discourse.

We want to silence the air sirens and have run out of ways to amuse ourselves in in bomb shelters. Taking selfies in shelters is longer a sufficient entertainment, honestly. And having to wait for temporary truce to get sunburned on the beach is insanely cruel.

Just Peace

It's not an overstatement to say that those liberal Zionists are just as dangerous as their honest counterparts of Lieberman, Feiglin, Netanyahu and co. The Zionist left promotes the Jewish supremacy and oppressive colonial structure that has dispossessed and subjugated Palestinians for 66 years, albeit under the cloak of peace and co-existence and without paying any regard to achieving long-standing justice.

Suffice to say that peace without justice is a silly state of things that only serves to perpetuate the status quo by sugarcoating the colonization and occupation with a false rose-tainted aura of blamelessness and guiltlessness that does not rectify or deconstruct the damages inflicted by a fascist ethnocentric state that absolutely has no right to exist. The correct outlook that “just peace” very clearly invokes the dismantlement and end of the apartheid colonial occupying regime Israel is, the return of the 6 million Palestinian refugees to their homes and villages, towns, and cities they were ethnically cleansed from, the obliteration of Zionism in all of its forms, and self-determination for the Palestinian people in a country that will not tolerate oppression.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

عن الإيمان




-لا تيأسي
-انا مش يأسانة
-لماذا ليس لصوت الشباب والصبايا من بلدك صدى ضد الاضطهاد؟
-هنالك قمع ودولة بوليسية واعتقالات سياسية وهيك
-اعتقالات سياسية؟ قصدك السلطة تعتقل معارضيها؟ لا! يا للعار!
-اه طبعا

الخلفية: حانة لطيفة قريبة من سكن الطلاب
الحدث: احتفال عيد ميلاد صديقة
الأشخاص: فلسطينية تعاني من رتابة صراع الهوية ,كوردي من كوردستان يجيد اللغة العربية الفصيحة, وأشخاص آخرون
المشروب: ginger beer و بيرة
المزاج: ما بين اللامبالاة والسخط

-بنظرك, هل تعتقدين أن الوضع سوف يتحسن؟
-انا طلعت من البلد
-ناوية ترجعي؟
-لأ
-لماذا؟
-اظن اذا سمعت اي حدا من هناك يحكيلي "مش باقي منك الا جلدة وعظم" ممكن افجّر حا-, قصدي, لأ, لا مش راجعة
-ولكن..الوضع السياسي بشكل عام..هل توجد ضغوطات من جهات معينة ضد السلطة؟
-لأ
-جد!
-اه. شوف يا زلمة, انا برضه بحب أسمع وأحكي عن أخبار لطيفة وراقية..توخدش عني فكرة غلط وتصورنيش بإنسانة محبطة مكتئبة ملتعن سماي وجاية ابعص, يعني أنكّد على انطباعات وارآء مناصري القضية الفلسطينية, مع انه ما بهمني رأيك كثير عشان لسه قبل شوي تعرفنا على بعض
-أبداً…أقولك, عندما زرت الضفة رأيت كيف كان رجال السلطة يعيشون في قصورهم ومبانيهم الفخمة.. ورأيت كيف كان الشعب يعاني ليبحث عن لقمة العيش. ليس عندي أي احترام للسلطة
-طيب على مهلك شوي, مش الكل بيشحد بالشارع. المسألة انه فش حياة تعيشها هناك خاصة -بين قوسين-لصبية متمردة
-هل يوجد حراك شبابي يطالب بإستقالة السلطة؟
-بكل جدية؟ لأ

أخذ رشفة من كأسه ثم ابتسم وقال: لا تيأسي..احنا مسلمين. عندما يأتي المهدي لا بد من الأوضاع أن تتحسن في فلسطين
-عفوا؟
-هكذا مكتوب في ديننا. الصراع على الأرض المقدسة سوف تستمر حتى مجيء المهدي

سكتت. فكرت اسأله اذا كان يعاني من نوع من انواع الانفصام ولكن دخلة الكعكة والعجقة التي دارت حولها صرف انتباهنا إلى صديقتنا المشتركة

بعد قطعتي الثالثة من الكعكة, تذمرت بصوت عالٍ:
-بالمقابل لازم نحط رجل على رجل ونستنى حضرته ليجي عندنا؟
فأجاب: نعم
-شو بتحكي! 
-هذا هو إيماني
-إيماني انه اظن بكفيك شرب اذا بدك تخوض محادثة جدية معي
-انا جدي!
-بتقدرش تتوقع من شعب محتل منتاك عرضه كلهم يآمنوا بإنه مصايبهم رح تنتهي لما المهدي يتشرف! وانه اصلا في مهدي! ومجبورين نوكل خرا بكل برود وفي شخص واحد رح يخلصنا من كل همومنا!
-طبعا لا..ولكن هذه هي النقطة المركزية
-شو هي؟

مرّت ومضة من البرق على وجهه وانشقت الغيوم لتكشف البدر ثم قال:
ان يكون عندك الشجاعة لتؤمن بشيء كبير وخفي

ثم خرج ليدخن

الخلفية: محادثة عن فتنة شعر الجسم عند المرأة تسيطر على حفلة لطيفة 
الشخصيات: الفتاة المستنيرة, الصديقة, وأشخاص آخرون
المشروب: ginger beer
المزاج: سريالية

-كيفك؟ عم تحكوا كثير انتِ وياه
-ولك لقى الحل للقضية!
-شو هي؟
-المهدي!
-طيب حبيبتي ديري بالك, لأنه بكره العرب
-لأ, بكره السلطة. بحب فلسطين...بتعرفي انه زار فلسطين؟
-اه بعرف..أجى مع شركته على إسرائيل
-بس المهدي..



ثم صفنّا ليوم الدين

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Post-dialogue and Bloody Flags

Grainy footage of original Operation Ripped

Round I

In the Junior Common Room at SOAS, commonly known as the School for Organized Anti-Semitism, a group of hunched hooligans with sour expressions of violent intolerance and inherent anger entered with an evil status quo-debilitating ambition. After standing suspiciously beneath the array of flags strung up the room in anticipation of tonight’s Eurovision event, the group sprang into action. One member of this cult, a young unshaven man of Middle Eastern origin, cut the bottom half of the Israeli flag in a jagged vehement move with scissors obtained from Jihadist sources. The rest of the members held their ground, with an air of belligerence dripping off from their impassioned stares. The deed was done, applauded by a lone individual in the room-an anti-Semitic agent/non-student who had infiltrated the school’s premises.

The shocked expression of the two students sitting beneath the flags was manifested in their barely audible disapproving voices. “That’s so rude,” one of them whimpered, his eyes hurt at witnessing human nature’s cruel disposition up close and personal. “That’s so rude, man.”

Immediately, a man in a tweed jacket broke through the group’s ranks, who had mastered the age old military formation of “crocodile fashion.”

He stared in barely restrained anger. “Fuck off,” he growled to the Middle Eastern man. “Fuck right off.”

The firebrand of the group addressed him with authority and patronization that belied her minuscule size.

“Why?”

“How dare you do this?”

“How dare you put up an Israeli flag, a flag of apartheid.”

“This is not how things are done, if you had a problem you should have come and spoken to me about this.”

“To do what, give you a platform for justifying why you have a flag that is synonymous with crimes-”

“There are Israelis that go to this school!”

“Any Israeli that puts up that flag is a Zionist and is not worth arguing with.”

“What you are doing now is engaging in post-dialogue!”

“Post-dialogue? What society are you from?”

“The Eurovision society.”

“The Eurovision society. Right, exactly. I will not have ‘dialogue’ with someone who sees no qualms in putting up the Israeli flag in the Junior Common Room. Let me tell you one thing: dialogue doesn’t fucking work. And this university is supposed to be a safe place for students, some of who came from Palestine and had to cross through Israeli checkpoints just to get here, not to mention the harassment they face in their daily lives.”

“This university is supposed to be a safe place for all the students, including those from Israel-”

“This is an apartheid flag, it is the flag of occupation and ethnic discrimination-”

Here, members of this Eurovision society, whose life concerns ultimately revolve around shit music contests and political correctness, began to form their own ranks. One of them, with ostentatiously gold shimmering paint slathered on her body as a reflective body armor was joined by her comrade, a sweet young thing with hearts painted on her cheeks. Tweedman took heart from this display of duty, and tried a different track.

“You could have written to the Eurovision society, and taken up your problem with Israel with them,” he sneered.

“We took a decision. That decision was to take down the flag. And put it in the bin.”

“You can’t just rip something that doesn’t belong to you!”

Here the Middle Eastern man quipped, “I can actually. It’s my land.”

The firebrand continued with her tirade. “There are Palestinians, those who have fought to come to university here, who have to look at that flag and see it dripping in blood!”

The tweed jacket twat spluttered. “I know people who would be offended by the Palestinian flag.”

Another pugnacious member of the offensive group flipped her red communist hijab and said calmly, “We’re talking about two different dynamics. Can’t compare the colonized with the colonizer.”

The group arranged themselves in single formation, and marched their way out of the room in solemn silence at accomplishing a thorny operation.

Round II

Tweedman and his posse clucked their tongues in condemnation at the actions of the radical group. He organized a mission to delve into the rubbish bin in order to fish out the tattered remains of the Flag That Shall Not Be Named. Using their expansive military budget, they affixed the tatters to the hanging torn part with staples.

Informants in the JCR relayed to the offensive radical group the retaliation of Tweedman and Co. The group was not to have it. A quick strategy was thought up and once again they marched down to the JCR, where the Eurovision event was about to begin. Firebrand stood under the flag, and proclaimed loudly, “What the fuck is that still doing up there?”

Tweedman rushed to the flag’s defense.

“Listen,” he began, noting his weakened position with surprising calm. “We are between a rock and a hard place. There are Israelis in this room that have complained about the torn flag.”

“I don’t care. We are not moving until that flag is taken down.”

“This is just a matter of difference in opinion.”

“It’s not about that. I am talking about realities on the ground, and that flag is a symbol of violence. Don’t dare pretend to engage in a discussion when you don’t know the facts of what’s happening.”

“Why are you being so aggressive?”

“I’m not the one that said to fuck off twice. You did. Take that flag down.”

He relented. “Fine, that means I have to take down all of the flags. Is that what you want?”

“I don’t care. Do whatever you have to do to take it down.”

As they teach at SOAS, the nation-state, especially in the Middle East where European colonialists invented it, is an evil phenomenon. Additionally, they teach you all about fake progressiveness and liberalness, so long as the cause has become mainstream to the point where it no longer elicits outrage and decisive action. Apparently, students at SOAS love to write about Palestine for example, (they also love hummus, because that is very relevant) but are completely devoid of good politics as evidenced by their indifference to the flag in favor of a music contest.