Friday, August 29, 2014

One of us: الشهداء منا وفينا



الشهيد القسامي مصعب علي
The martyred resistance fighter Mus'ab Ali

الشهيد القسّامي مصعب علي (24)

مصعب من هؤلاء الذين أُدرِجوا تحت بند "مجهول" في قائمة الشهداء، لا لشيءٍ إلا لخوفنا الدائم خلال الحرب وبعدها من العملاء قاتلهم الله، ومن قصف منزله بعد استشهاده كما يحدث كل حرب مع كثير من المقاومين. اليوم تنتشر صوره وأراها على صفحات أناس لا أعرفهم، مرتديًا زيّه العسكريّ، حاملًا سلاحه، وأفضّل هذه الصورة لسببٍ أجهله. مصعب درس في كليّة صناعية "تبريد وتكييف". قدِم إلى بيتنا قبل بدء الحرب بأسبوع وقام بتصليح غسّالتنا. لم أرَ شخصًا في أدبه وأخلاقه. مصعب كان أحد المقاومين الذين اشتبكوا مع قوات الاحتلال في الشجاعيّة وقتلوا 8 جنود صهاينة، ثم اشتبكوا معهم مجددًا في حيّ السلام شرق جباليا. حاصرهم العدو جوًا وقُصفت العمارة التي كان فيها هو واثنان من رفاقِه بانتظار "قوة خاصة" إسرائيلية لمهاجمتها. استشهد ثلاثتهم معًا. تم إخلاء جثث الشهيدين في اليوم التالي، ولم يتم العثور على جثة مصعب لأن الركام كان كثيرًا وكانت المنطقة لا تزال خطرة. في هدنة الخمس أيام، وبعد مرور 8 أيام على استشهاد مصعب، تمكّن أهله من إيجاد جثته تحت الأنقاض. حفر أبوه وأخوته بأيديهم، وساعدهم جيران المنطقة. 8 أيام، وخرجت جثته صحيحة سليمة (طبعًا تحلّل جثث الكثير من الشهداء لا يعيبهم؛ هذه كرامات يختصّ بها الله من يشاء). بقي تحت الركام 8 أيّام، لا يعرف أهله عنه شيئًا سوى أنه استشهد ورفيقاه. 8 أيام! هؤلاء أحقّ الشهداء بالذكر والتبجيل. هؤلاء، من نتجنّب ذكرهم أمام الإعلام لأنهم ليسوا "مدنيّين"، عاشوا وماتوا ليحيا المدنيّون بكرامة. هؤلاء أطهرنا وأنقانا وأكثرنا فهمًا للحبّ. هؤلاء، الذين يغادرون بصمت ويتركون صورًا فوتوغرافية تُعدّ على أصابع اليد الواحدة، لا يأبهون للتسميات التي يطلقها عليهم العالم الظالم. في بيوت عزائهم، يرعبنا صمود أمهاتهم وجلدهنّ، يرعبنا يقينهن الذي سرعان ما أن نتركهم يتحوّل إلى شلّال من الدموع لا يهدأ. صبرٌ وبكاء، يمتزجان ويفترقان. هؤلاء من في جنائزهم يبكي الأغراب ويردّد الأب "الحمدلله، إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون. الحمدلله." هؤلاء من استشهدوا لنحيا نحن. هؤلاء من صدقوا الله فصدقهم الله.

(كتبت هذا النص سارة علي من غزة)


The martyred Qassam fighter Mus'ab Ali, 24 years old

Mus'ab was one of those who were classified as "unknown" on the list of people killed in Gaza. It was done out of our constant fear from the collaborators (may God strike them down) during the Israeli aggression and after, and out of the possible demolishment of his house that happens during every war to a lot of the resistance fighters.

Today Mus'ab's pictures were circulated on social media and I see them on the pages of people I don't know. In those pictures he's wearing his military uniform and carrying his weapon. I prefer this picture [posted above] for reasons I can't quite explain. 

Mus'ab studied "refrigeration and air conditioning" at an industrial college.  He came to our house a week before the Israeli aggression started to fix our washing machine. I've never met a person with such impeccable manners. Mus'ab was one of the unit of fighters that confronted the Israeli occupation army in Shuja'iyeh and killed eight Zionist soldiers. His unit faced the Israeli army again in the Salam neighborhood east of Jabalya. The enemy besieged them from the air and fired air strikes at a building he was in with two of his comrades as they were waiting to attack a "special unit" from the Israeli occupation army. The three of them were martyred together. The next day, the bodies of the other two fighters were pulled out from the building, but Mus'ab's body was hard to find due to the immense rubble, not to mention that the area was still very much under danger. During the 5 day ceasefire, that is eight days after Mus'ab was killed, his family were able to find his body under the debris. His father and brothers dug through the rubble with their bare hands, and were helped by their neighbors. His body did not carry any markings of decay. He remained eight days under the rubble, and his family knew nothing except that he and his friends was killed. Eight days!

These martyrs are the ones that deserve to be mentioned and revered. These martyrs, who are avoided being mentioned candidly to the media because they are not "civilians"...these are the ones who lived and died so that the rest of the civilians could live with dignity. They are the purest and and the finest and compared to us, have the better understanding of what love is. They who choose to leave us quietly and leave us a few photographs of themselves that can be counted on the fingers of one hand. They do not care about the names that the cruel world calls and defines them by. At their funeral wakes, we are in awe of the steadfastness of their mothers. They shock us with their certainty that as soon as we leave, turns into waterfalls of tears. Patience and tears! They blend in together and are inseparable.

At their funerals,  strangers mourn them and cry over them. And Mus'ab's father contains himself by repeating the verse, "Thank God, I am to God and to Him we return. Praise be to Allah." 

They are the ones who died, who chose the path of martyrdom in order for us to live. They believed in God and God in turn believed in them.

As written by Sarah Ali, translated by myself

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

نحن في غزة بخير, طمّنونا عنكم


نحن في غزة بخير, طمّنونا عنكم
نحن في الحرب بخير, ماذا عنكم أنتم 
شهداؤنا ا تحت الركام
أطفالنا سكنوا الخيام ، يسألون عنكم، أين أنتم؟
نحن في غزة بخير, طمنونا عنكم

البحر من وراءنا لكننا نقاتل
عدوّنا أمامنا و ما زلنا نقاتل
لدينا ما يكفينا سلاح و طعام ، وعود بالسلام ، نشكر لكم دعمكم
نحن في غزة بخير, طمنونا عنكم

أرواحنا, جراحنا, بيوتنا, سماؤنا, وجوهنا, دماؤنا
عيوننا, أكفاننا
تحمينا من سلامكم, وعودكم, كلامكم
نحن في غزة بخير طمّنونا عنكم



إلى كل المزاودين, إلى كل المتخاذلين الذين خذلونا, إلى كل متضامن ومتضامنة من الضفة والقدس وأراضي ال٤٨, نقول لكم: نحن في غزة بخير...ومن باب الأدب والمجاملة, نرجوكم..من فضلكم..طمّنونا عنكم؟

Friday, August 22, 2014

PART TWO: Exposing the Israeli Left: On the Issue of Israel's Radicals


Tel Aviv protest against bloodshed in Gaza, and for a return to negotiations. Source

Written by Linah Alsaafin and Budour Hassan

While it's necessary and urgent to delegitimize liberal Zionists, less clear is the position we should take from the anti-Zionist left. And although anti-Zionist Israelis are so few and far between and can hardly be considered a significant segment of the political or social sphere in Israel, they receive disproportionate coverage especially in progressive media outlets. We are aware, however, that this debate remains an elitist one centered on social media and the blogosphere and does not really preoccupy most Palestinians on the ground because they don't even know about the anti-Zionist minority. And frankly, they are not supposed to care either.

During the last month, anti-Zionists have organized several small vigils against the aggression on Gaza in Tel Aviv and in Jerusalem. Those protests were often attacked by right-wing mob, as were individual and human rights organizations that are outspoken against Israeli crimes in Gaza. Veteran Israeli activists would quickly point out that this level of incitement against them is unprecedented and would go on to say something to the effect: "Leftists are the new Palestinians," or "Palestinians and Israeli leftists are the victims of this new wave of Israeli racism." The common theme in all that they say and write is the portrayal of Israeli leftists as victims.

No, dear Israeli radical leftists, you are not victims. You are part of the problem. You are part of the reason why our people continue to suffer. Your very existence at the moment comes at the expense of the refugees who were ethnically cleansed from Palestine and who continue to be bombed by Israel in Gaza. Just because you are beginning to experience a tiny fraction of what Palestinians face on a daily basis doesn't mean it's okay for you to play the victim role or even imagine the possibility of equating your "suffering" to that of the Palestinians.

Social price

We often hear about the social price that anti-Zionist dissidents are forced to pay, such as the fact that they are sometimes shunned by their own family and slandered and demonized by their society. It does perhaps make you feel better when you go home from your weekend activism but hey, don't we all need to please the self-righteous part of us sometimes and pretend that we are sacrificing massively when we are in fact doing very little? It's always nice to go home and say, "We were attacked by fascist mob because we opposed the war." Western media would love it. Even Arab media would applaud you for your courage and will write poetics about your heroic actions. And some Palestinians would consider you a partner. Otherwise we'd be called racists because pointing out the privileged of the good colonizer constitutes racism apparently.

The "hard choices" you made are your minimum moral obligations as a colonizer and as an essential part of the system that oppresses Palestinians. You are not doing anyone of us a favor by appeasing your conscience. The choice to oppose racism and Jewish supremacy and murder is the least one could do. And one definitely doesn't expect to make hard choices without paying a price.

If you want to know what hard choices look like, ask the Palestinians who were displaced from Palestine and had to walk in the desert for weeks to reach Kuwait. Ask the Palestinians who had to choose between dying under Israeli bombs or fleeing their houses to nowhere in Gaza. This is how our hard choices look like. And regardless of whatever social price anti-Zionists pay, their colonial privileges remain intact.

To seek admiration for your heroic stance or satisfaction from lessening the guilt complex you have is missing the point entirely, especially if this comprises the goals or aims you have. In fact, the less you think of yourselves as unsung heroes, the better it is for your ego, mental state of mind, and for Palestinians as we will stop rolling our eyes on an almost permanent basis.


Within the system

Another striking feature of the small antiwar vigils in Tel Aviv is that they were held under the protection of the Israeli border police to prevent confrontations with the right-wing mob. By accepting this, anti-Zionist leftists remain confined within the system they supposedly seek to dismantle. After all, it's not the right-wing mob who bomb Gaza and murder protesters in the West Bank. It is the very army and border police that protect the antiwar protests in Tel Aviv. Thus, unwittingly or otherwise, those antiwar protestors contribute to the promotion of the facade of Israel's democracy and tolerance for dissent.

The same applies for Israeli – and Palestinian - leftist human rights organizations that still rely on the Israeli judicial system to "defend" their freedom of expression rather than recognizing that the judicial system is an arm of the Israeli occupation.

It’s fair to say that dear anti-Zionists, your presence isn’t doing anyone any good. The Israeli society hates you, and the Palestinians don’t care about you. Do not go looking for sympathy, (or empathy, whatever you prefer), because we have run out of both. Your remaining in the country does not constitute any form of sumoud.

Instead, it only amplifies the state of privilege that you live in, such as the goddamn freedom of movement (it must be so hard to organize a carpool to go to the West Bank, no?), the right to have an Israeli partner wherever they live in the country, and the absence of institutionalized racism leveled at you at whatever you set out to achieve, whether that be education, getting building permits for your home, or finding a job.

Do not fool yourselves into thinking you are allies or partners for “peace” by virtue of a few token Palestinian acquaintances, because the fact of the matter remains glaringly obvious: you are too insignificant to make a difference to change your genocide-loving government or to win the hearts of the oppressed.

It’s best to leave the country. That way, you’d be doing us a favor of laying out the naked truth for all to see. It’s time to be honest. Your numbers are too little to compose a minority. The resources you have at your hands may have duped some of the western and increasingly Arab media—who absolutely love a feel-good story and buy into that whole Israeli-Palestinian joint struggle or common purpose—into believing that you are a small but plucky group risking it all to fight for the Palestinian side.

It's not surprising that all those movies about "joint struggle" would attract attention and admiration. Not because they reflect the reality on the ground but because they show the world what it likes to see: the Israeli who fights with the Palestinian hand-in-hand. Yet that is not the case at all. How can it be, seeing that you come from a much more superior standing? Whether you like it or not, and as hard as you try to ostracize yourself from the others, there is no escaping that you benefit from the occupation system. Put your resources towards a better investment. Raise awareness for the Palestinian struggle outside of Israel. It is no secret that the (hypocritical and complicit) international community’s favorable narrative in support of the Palestinians will be a welcome asset to our struggle for self-determination and an end to the occupation. 


Making the distinction

With all that said, we are still capable of making the distinction between anti-Zionists who are third-generation settlers and anti-Zionist leftists who made Aliya and settled in Palestine by virtue of the Return Law. The latter might have seen the light at last and discovered the evils of Zionism but insist on directly benefiting of the racist "Return Law' when they could easily go home to where they actually belong.

We also make the distinction between anti-Zionist Israeli settlers who live in Palestine by choice and those who want to leave but cannot afford it. And there are anti-Zionist leftists, who lie on the margins of the movement and who come from the underclass. Those individuals-who can be counted at the fingers of one hand- are in Palestine because they have nowhere else to go but don't use the Palestinian cause to make a career. They are aware of their privileges but you won't find them writing articles about the hard choices they made. The rest, however, are a privileged bunch of dual citizens or upper-middle class attention-seekers who believe they can change the Israeli society.

And to be quite honest, we do not care about the Israeli society. We don’t care to humanize or dehumanize them, although the latter is more appropriate. We will never buy into this two-sides two-equal-suffering all-we-want-is-peace bullshit. We don’t want peace with Zionists or with anyone that reaps the profits from a inherently violent jingoistic colonial system.

And this might disappoint you greatly, but we don't advocate for transitional justice nor do we have the luxury talking about truth and reconciliation when being bombed, fragmented and deprived of our most basic rights. Transitional justice is for white people. We want revenge from the system that stripped us of our humanity.

To the Israeli society in general: Coexistence is not on the agenda. We do not have the time to waste waiting for Israel's radicals to make a social revolution or convince their society that Zionism sucks. We are not imploring, beseeching, or asking you. We demand an end to the occupation, for you to break out of the prisons you have for minds, and for the love of all things good and holy, end the siege on Gaza. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

PART ONE: Exposing the Israeli left: The “cottage-cheese warriors"

From the Shit Liberal Zionists Say Tumblr


Written by Linah Alsaafin and Budour Hassan

When Israel launched its most recent aggression on the Gaza Strip, dubbed Operation Protective Edge, the overwhelming majority of the Israeli public supported the aggression. Support for the massacre was by no means limited to right-wingers and blatant fascists; the cheerleaders also included Israeli Labor party (the largest "opposition” party in the Knesset), liberal minister of Justice Tzipi Livni, and Meretz, the self-proclaimed social democrats and "only Zionist leftist party". The latter would eventually backtrack just like they did in the 2008- 2009 massacre, even claiming that they never actually supported the war from the get-go.

"Peace Rally"

On 16 August, Meretz, along with Hadash, Peace Now and other "peace-loving" movements, organized a "peace rally" in Rabin Square in Tel Aviv, attended by thousands of Israelis. Organizers of the rally described the turnout as a victory for the peaceful solution. Some went as far as to declare that the rally is a testament to the strength of the left and working-class in Israel.

Israeli Jahan M. gushed about the protest on his Facebook by writing: "Probably the largest Gaza anti-war protest in the world happening inside Israel itself, signs of the potential of workers and left activists in Israel, yet so much of the left across the world still doesn't see this. Israel, like every other country in the world has a working class and like other workers and oppressed it is their fundamental interest to overthrow the rich who exploit their labour."

Jahan M. effectively normalized Israel's illegitimate existence; ignored the colonialist nature of Israel, and decontextualized working class solidarity from the inherent racist and Jewish supremacist ideology perpetuated by the Israeli labour union ever since its inception. Never mind that the rally was by no stretch of the imagination the largest anti-war rally in the world. Not even close! Never mind that the bulk of the organizers and participants represent the white bourgeoisie in Israel. Never mind that for most of those privileged cottage-cheese warriors, class struggle is nothing but a slogan they raise when they are bored or drunk. And never mind that despite the lamentation and crocodile tears, this rally received far more praise that it warrants.

Let's put all of that aside for a moment. The rally wasn't even about peace in the first place.

In this glorious peace rally, a song was dedicated to the Israeli soldiers who bombed the hell out of the besieged Gaza Strip, murdering over 2000 Palestinian men, women and children. One antiwar protester opposed war so staunchly that he wore-a Meretz t-Shirt while carrying an M-16 rifle. It was more of a show of patriotism, a platform to equate the suffering of Palestinians in Gaza with the "suffering" Israelis, and a desperate attempt to offer a different image of Israel.

Cosmetic presence

To complete the show it was necessary to present Palestinian voices on stage, inviting Mohammad Barakeh, Hadash chairman, and another Palestinian activist from the Zionist group "Combatants for Peace" to join in the chorus of peace and love. Yet again, the Zionist left benefits from the collaboration of “house Palestinians” in order to reinforce the myth of joint struggle. The cosmetic Palestinian presence apart, the one protester who carried an assault rifle and wore a Meretz t-shirt epitomized all that the Zionist "left" stands for: the marriage between militarism, nationalism, and sham peace.

Twisting words

There is something peculiar, if not downright absurd about how Zionists twist words and their meanings to always cement their position on that righteous pedestal made out of salt. It is, after all, the natural inclination that the oppressor’s mentality automatically takes on. If belligerence doesn’t work, then a decontextualized uppity moral standing seems more persuasive: "Dear world, we want peace, but for all the wrong reasons."

We want the army to stop bombing Gaza and to stop killing the Palestinians there because the images of dead babies kept in ice cream freezers due to a lack of space in the morgues make us slightly uncomfortable. (But don't you dare talk about accountability.)

We want the army (which is very ethical but occasionally makes mistakes like just another army in the world) to take more precaution and to know better than to strike boys playing on the beach in the presence of the foreign press.

We want the army to act in accordance with the principle of proportionality, because you know, Israel never targets civilians and if it does, let's just blame it on disproportionality and Khhhamas human shields, because heaven forbid we use the term genocide!

We want a return to the status quo and futile negotiations where Gaza will remain under siege for another lifetime; where the West Bank will revert to the Palestinian Authority-dictated open arms policy of normalization and sweet occupation; and where the pestering Palestinian youth in the 48 occupied territories preoccupy themselves with superficial things other than accumulating the kind of consciousness that rejects the very existence of Israel and breaks up once and for all with the citizenship discourse.

We want to silence the air sirens and have run out of ways to amuse ourselves in in bomb shelters. Taking selfies in shelters is longer a sufficient entertainment, honestly. And having to wait for temporary truce to get sunburned on the beach is insanely cruel.

Just Peace

It's not an overstatement to say that those liberal Zionists are just as dangerous as their honest counterparts of Lieberman, Feiglin, Netanyahu and co. The Zionist left promotes the Jewish supremacy and oppressive colonial structure that has dispossessed and subjugated Palestinians for 66 years, albeit under the cloak of peace and co-existence and without paying any regard to achieving long-standing justice.

Suffice to say that peace without justice is a silly state of things that only serves to perpetuate the status quo by sugarcoating the colonization and occupation with a false rose-tainted aura of blamelessness and guiltlessness that does not rectify or deconstruct the damages inflicted by a fascist ethnocentric state that absolutely has no right to exist. The correct outlook that “just peace” very clearly invokes the dismantlement and end of the apartheid colonial occupying regime Israel is, the return of the 6 million Palestinian refugees to their homes and villages, towns, and cities they were ethnically cleansed from, the obliteration of Zionism in all of its forms, and self-determination for the Palestinian people in a country that will not tolerate oppression.

Monday, August 11, 2014

How not to Write about Gaza


  •  Do not infantilize it by God-awful chants such as the morbid “Gaza Gaza don’t you cry/We will never let you die.” Gaza has withstood a seven year siege, three invasions in six years, and a resistance movement that despite the odds has developed itself and given life and hope to Palestinians. That is only in the last seven years. Look up Gaza’s rich history, one that extends beyond being the spark of the first intifada in 1987.

  • Gaza is not Palestine. It makes up less than 2 percent of the country. Gaza is not the Palestinian cause. It is part of it. The Palestinian cause encompasses all the territories that the occupying power has divided and ruled over such as the West Bank, Jerusalem, the 1948 occupied territories, and Gaza. And then some, considering the millions of refugees still waiting for their right of return in camps in the neighboring countries of Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, and Egypt.

  • Gaza is no more an “Arab cause” than it is a “Muslim/Islamic ummah cause.” The former are collaborators with the Zionist regime, the latter does not exist. So save your takbeers (unless it is to cheer on the resistance) and empty rhetoric on saving al-Aqsa mosque (it’s not the one with the shiny golden dome by the way) for when Salah al-Din emerges from his grave. 


  • Continuing on in the same vein, bury that stupid slogan of "You don't need to be a Muslim to support Gaza. You just need to be human." NO. Just. NO.
    • Also, don't "Pray for Gaza." Thank you very much.

  • Gaza is not a charity basket case. Use those bake-sales to attain something oh so slightly pettier. We don’t want money to ameliorate the disastrous conditions. We want an end to the siege and a border crossing we can be in charge of. We want dignity.


  • Gaza is not a cool warzone for you to add on your CV and Facebook albums. So pseudo journalists, fuck off. Orientalist journalists, the same applies to you. Foreign journalists who love reporting about the location of resistance rockets fired-endangering whole neighborhoods- the darkest depths of hellfire await you.


  • Gaza is not a cool slogan. Gaza is not cool for you to parade your activism shamelessly. Gaza is not an acceptable mainstream easy activist protest where flags of parties who are actively involved in killing civilians such as Hezbollah can be waved around. 


  • Gaza is not a platform to use for your political and public speaking career, George Galloway. Gaza is not for bigots, no matter how “good” of a speaker they are.


  • Gaza is not a “feel-good call of duty even though I am so angry by all the killings there.” If you want to protest, do it right. Do not hold hands for the umpteenth time in front of the Israeli embassy chanting “Free Free Palestine” like a broken record. Do occupy or smash up the embassy. Quality over quantity.


  • Gaza is not for selfies.


  • Gaza is not to be used for people to further their own careers and star-studded personalities who support oppression elsewhere. Gaza is not for hypocrites, like Abby Martin.


  • Dear West Bank especially, and the rest of Palestine in general: Gaza is not a neighboring country. Do not protest in “solidarity” by holding candles and gathering at city centers. Rise up against the slavemaster’s puppets, the Palestinian Authority. Rise up against the slavemaster, Israel. Shove your solidarity to somewhere where the sun don’t shine.


  • Dear the rest of Palestine: do not internally Orientalize Gaza. That includes describing singer Mohammed Assaf as “dark-skinned but with a great personality.” Perhaps it is too much to ask to get rid of your colonized minds.


  • Gaza is not for your own fetishization. Do not fetishize Gaza.


  • If you do not understand what is meant by “Gaza is Hamas, and Hamas is Gaza” as Israel relentlessly bombards it with thousands of tons of heavy weaponry and massacres then do not even torture us with your senseless analysis.


  • Do not use “We teach life, sir” to the point where the phrase’s essence loses its meaning every time you see a photo of Palestinian children enjoying themselves. Children are children. They quickly adapt to their surroundings and find ways to have fun.


  • Gaza is not for your sympathy. Gaza is a call for direct action against the complicit hypocritical world.


  • Gaza’s murdered civilians are not just “women, children and elderly.” Men are civilians.


  • Gaza is not to be resoundingly victimized as hapless and helpless. Simultaneously, Gaza is not under any circumstances to be compared to the colonizing, occupying Zionist regime.


  • Do not talk about Gaza, liberal Palestinians and foreigners. Do not ask why there are no bomb shelters in Gaza, like that stupid sellout rap group DAM did (who have since deleted that July 13 post on their Facebook page. The powers of screenshots poses their question in Arabic below). Do not ask why people in Gaza “don’t just leave.”

سؤال لحماس-
غير انه عندكم استراتيجية ل-تخويف العدو
هل في برنامج لجلب الطمأنينة للشعب؟
يعني غزة دايماً كانت مستهدفة، بس بين هجوم لهجوم هل في بناء ملاجئ؟
(سؤال)
  • Impartiality does not exist in Gaza.

Friday, August 1, 2014

(III) موسم الاجتياح, والكلاب

المنظر من بيتنا في مدينة غزة

المدينة تلتهب بموجة الحر هذا الاسبوع, ولكننا بالكاد لاحظنا وقلوبنا تحترق من أخبار بلادنا. من منا تُفضّل ان تترك هذا الوهم وتكون في وسط أحداث العدوان؟ نحن اللواتي لديهن أهل يعيشون باستمرارية تحت القصف والدمار والخوف وترقب الموت وعدم الأمن والأمان. بينما نحنفي بلاد المتحضرة التي استعمرتنا والسبب الرئيسي لمصيرنا اليوم-هذه المدينة الجافة والمشبعة من الكياسة المبالغة وحسن التعامل الذي لا يتجاوز المنظر الخارجي-نحاصر معاناتنا بعيدا عن الحضارة وتساؤلات الأصدقاء الذين لا يعرفوا, ولا يستطيعوا أن يتخيلوا حجم الألم والرهبة المتغلغل في أعماقنا. نقضي أيامنا بين جدران غرفنا في السكن, مدمنين على الأخبار ٢٤ ساعة كل يوم. مع كل تغريدة, مع كل "شير" لصورة على مواقع التواصل الاجتماعي, نذكّر ونكرّس في نفوسنا أسوأ شعور ممكن نختبره في ظل هذه الظروف: العجز. 

نحن غير قادرات على عمل أي شيء بينما أهالينا يتلقون الارهاب من كل الجهات دون أي رحمة. نحتقر أنفسنا. نخبئ انهيارنا العصبي-هذا سر ولكن نعمتمر علينا ايام لا نقدر أن نتحرك خارج غرفنالا نستطيع الأكل ولا النوم, نمشي من السرير للباب للسرير مثل السجين المحموم, او الحيوان في القفص, ونبكي بحرارة ثم نعلن أننا صرفنا كل دموعنا وليس لدينا الطاقة, القدرة, المروّة لنبكي مرة أخرى. نهرب من مشاعرنا. نكذب على بعض. أصبحنا محترفين بالكذب.

-بموت اذا صار اشي لستي او لبنت اختي
-ماما اتصلت علي تسألني وين يروحوا بعد ما أجالهم امر لإخلاء عمارتهم..وين يروحوا؟!
-مبارح الشجاعية واليوم خزاعة وبكرة وين رح تكون المجزرة؟ بستنى إسم عائلتي يطلع على الأخبار..يا رب..يا رب!



يا رب. يا رب احميهميا ربلو لا المقاومة كان فقدت أيماني. كان اعطيتك ظهري مثل حنظلة تماما وغرقت في محيط الصمت والبؤس والغضب والضياع والواقعية.


اتصلت بأهلي أخيرا.

عمتي تسكن في منطقة التوام, شمال غزة . أخلوا بيتهم, للمرة الثانية خلال سنتين. آخر مرة قضوا ليلة سوداء وهم منبطحون على بطونهم في الممر على الطابق الأول يدعوا ويتسلخطوا ويصرخوا . البيارة حد بيتهم انقصفت اكثر من اربعين مرة والبيت يرتفع وينزل . تكسرت الشبابيك . انخلعت الأبواب. شراشف النايلون اخذت مكان كل فتحة شباك . آثار الدمار كانت موجودة عندما زرتها بعد اسبوع من انتهاء العدوان في ٢٠١٢. 

(-اذا بدك تستخدمي الحمام حطي عصاية القشاطة على الباب عشان يتسكر حبيبتي)

هذه المرة, اتصلت على رقمها. مصطفى رد ولكن لم يتكلم الا بعد ما عرّفت على حالي -ولك انا لينة بنت خالك - وطمأن امه ان المتصلة منهم وليست من جيش الاحتلال تحمل تهديد.

-اه يا ماما , يا حبيبتي يا عمتو , احنا كويسين تقلقيش علينا بس تنسيناش بالدعاء .. ادعيلنا .. احنا مناح, اه طلعنا من البيت ورحنا على مخيم الشاطئ.. انقصف البيت اللي قبالنا وبعد يومين رجعنا على بيتنا..وين بدنا نروح؟ اه ابراهيم (صغير العائلة ) هيّو مغلبني .. بيتصرف كإنه كل شي عادي وبيضحك لما القصف ينزل عندنا بس أنا عارفة انه بكون مرعوب. اه والله الشباب مغلبيني كمان .. عامر ومصطفى بقولولي انهم رايحين  يصلوا التراويح في المسجد بس بروحوش يصلوا, بروحوا يتفرجوا.

دار عمي ساكنين على آخر طابق في عمارة بمنطقة تل الهوا. ويا حبذا لو قطعت الكهربا وينجبروا على صعود الدرج ليصلوا إلى شقتهم. مرت عمي روتلي عندما قرروا يخلوا البيت آخر مرة, كانت حاملة صغيرة العائلة رغد ويزيد ربط جسمه حول رجلها. البنات الثانيات سبقوهم بخطوتين ولحظة ما توجهت مرت عمي الى الدرج تكسر الشبابيك بوجهها من قوة الانفجار الذي اهتز العمارة كلها .

هذه المرة , يرفضون اخلاء بيتهم . اين سيذهبون؟ هذه المرة الثالثة في ستة سنوات و لن يسمحوا للاحتلال تعطيل حياتهم اكثر من ذلك. رغد ويزيد لا ينامون الا بجانب امهم . مستعدين يضلوا سهرانين طالما امهم لم تحيطهم بجسمها . هيا ودينا لا ينامون الا اذا الغرفة مضوية , واختهم الأكبر ندى متضايقة جدا من هذا الوضع. اخوهم ادهم يتصرف كأن القصف شيء عادي, لا تسترجوا تسألوه اذا مرة بحياته خاف او ما خاف , مفهوم؟

ستي لا تستطيع الوقوف من الخوف...لها قناعة أن هذا العدوان سيقتلها, وعندما كلمتها على الهاتف, بكت وأبكتني معها. ستي وجيلها لا يزالون يعانون من صدمة النكبة وكل الحروب بعد ١٩٤٨ومع كل قرقعة صوت او انفجار كبير تصرخ على ندى: اليهود! اليهود اجوا يقتلونا!

طلبت من ندى تبعثلي صورة ستي. ردّت علي: ايوة! عشان تتهمني انه رح اعطي صورتها لليهود!

مررتْ التليفون لستي.

-مش قادر, مش قادر, والله مني قادر..بضلهم فوق روسنا
-شدي حيلك ستي والله يقويك ويجمعنا عن قريب ان شاء الله..أول ما يفتح المعبر رح نكون عندك..حضري الحناء عشان نحنّي شعرنا..وتقوليلنا قصة مايا وابن السلطان..
-فش منه..فش منه
-شو هو اللي فش منه؟
-المعبر مسكر..بضله مسكر
-لا ان شاء الله يفتح. تفو على مصر وعلى كل العرب, بس رح يفتح.

بكت. صرت ارمي كلام في الهواء, وجبرت حالي امسك دموعي.

-الله يطعميهم يوم من حياتنا..وينتقم منهم ويوخدهم. هالمرة رح تعدي ستو, والله رح تعدي ورح تكون اخر مرة

تبكي وتبكي. انتهى الحكي. عندما ودعتني, اشعرت بنوع من الحسمية. (مع السلامة يما..الله يرضى عليكِ يما..الله يحنن عليكِ..مع السلامة حبيبتي.)

ستدفعون ثمن كل دمعة نزلت من عيني ستي يا أولاد الكلب. ستدفعون بحياتكم.

عمي الثاني في خانيونس. غرفتين نوم تحصن عائلته المكونة من عشر أفراد والسقف من الزينكو يهب وينزل مع كل قصف. عمي لا يحب ان يتحدث عن ايام العدوان لأنه يتأثر بشكل كبير عندما يرى اولاده متجمدين من الخوف او يصرخوا على طول اصواتهم. رأيت الألم في عينيه قبل ان قام بتغيير الموضوع. حنان تتحول لعمود صغير من الرخام. كل عضلات جسمها تتشنج وتفقد القدرة على التحرك تماما. فرح تبلغ من العمر سنتين ونص وهذه المرة الثانية في حياتها تشهد القصف المبرح. من مفردات لغتها الجديدة " دَبّة دبّة !" التي تلي كل انفجار.

اعترفت لعمي الأقرب على قلبي عن المظاهرات في لندن.

- بطلعوا بالالآف عمو .. مظاهرة يوم الجمعة كان فيها عشر الاف واحد. وثاني اسبوع  طلعوا تقريبا مئة ألف..بس بحبش اروح واعتبر انه وقفتي انجاز وافتخر بإنه هيني طلعت..مرّات بتقاتل مع الناس هناك...انا مش جاية اتضامن وانتو تحت القصف! بس فش اشي ممكن اعمله!

ضحك وقال: ومفكرة انه طالع بإيدينا نعمل اشي؟ بنضلنا محبوسين بالبيت نسمع ونصرخ وندعي.

-انتو عندكم المقاومة على الأقل

 -مزبوط..واحنا عندنا روح التحدي..يعني روح ال challenge زي ما بتقولوا عندكم في لندن..حتى الناس العاديين زينا بدهمش أي هدنة إذا طلعنا بصفر...شو بنستفيد اذا كمان سنتين اجالنا وزير (اسرائيل ) تاني قرر يقصفنا كمان مرة؟ الكل يترقب.

يوم العيد, عرفت اخر اخبار عمي في خانيونس. اخلى بيته مع اولاده الثمانية بعد ما قصف الاحتلال أرضه. تضرر البيت, ودبّر سيارة لكي يذهبوا إلى المخيم. الاحتلال قصف السيارة التي كانت أمامهم مباشرة. قُبض أرواح أصحاب السيارة الأولى, ووصل عمي وعائلته المخيم بنفسيات مهترئة.


الكل يترقب. أرواح الشهداء يترقبون. عائلة أبو جامع و أطفالهم ال١٨ يترقبون. الإم واولادها الثمانية من عائلة القصاص يترقبون. كنان وساجي الحلاق يترقبان. عائلة الكيلاني واولادهم الخمسة يترقبون. شهداء مجازر الشجاعية وخزاعة ورفح وجباليا وبيت حانون كلهم يترقبون.